As You Write

Be Concise ...

Government documents often use complex, academic-style sentences to demonstrate expertise, which may not effectively communicate information to the general public. This bureaucratic style, with its dense and lengthy sentences, can hinder our mission and values by making it difficult for people and communities to understand our messages.

Examples:

✗ "With the prior written consent of the Planning Board, which is not to be unreasonably withheld, the Planning Board can grant, within 14 days of the application, the developer permission to assign the development agreement."

✓ "The Planning Board may allow the developer to assign the development agreement within 14 days of the application. The board must give written consent prior to the assignment. The board cannot withhold consent without reasonable justification."

✓ "The Planning Board may allow the developer to assign the development agreement under the following circumstances:

within 14 days of the application, and
with written board consent prior to the assignment.

The Planning Board cannot unreasonably withhold consent to the assignment."

Review your sentences for excessive detail, repetitiveness, and redundant words:


✗	✓
"I received and read the email you sent yesterday about the report you're writing for the project. I agree it needs a thorough, close review from someone familiar with your audience."	"I received your email about the project report and agree it needs a review from someone familiar with your audience."
"The test revealed conduction activity that was peculiar in nature."	"The test revealed peculiar conduction activity."

Tips:

Set word or page limits for your project and adhere to them - attention spans are short. If this writing project is periodical, challenge yourself to convey the same amount of information as the previous version in fewer words.
Remove unnecessary words.

While conciseness is valued, increasing the chance that your reader will understand your message is the ultimate goal. Using plain language doesn't always require you to shorten a sentence or paragraph. It is preferable to maintain the length of the section or include a few more words to make a concept clearer to your reader.

Increase Readability

Use simpler sentences that are easy to understand. Shorten sentences and paragraphs where possible and vary lengths.

Are you using words that your audience is familiar with?
Is there a way to express the information in a simpler way that still provides your audience with the information that they need to know?
Does using a less precise, but more familiar word going to change the meaning of the sentence/paragraph from your target audience's perspective?

Example:

✗"The proposed development will feature a multi-modal transit hub to facilitate interconnectivity and reduce the reliance on private vehicles, thereby promoting sustainable urban growth.

✓"The proposed building includes a station that connects different types of transport. The station will reduce residents' dependence on private cars, making the city more environmentally friendly."

Other ways to increase readability:

Create white space between paragraphs.
Use headings and subheadings beyond section titles.
Use bulleted or numbered lists instead of narratives where applicable.
Use bold or italic or formatting to emphasize key words or phrases; avoid underlining - online readers may confuse it with a hyperlink.
Instead of including clunky URLs, create hyperlinks and change the URL to explanatory text.
Use Callouts. A callout is content that stands out from the regular content on the page. Callouts are designed to emphasize information that you want the reader to focus on. There are several different types of callouts that emphasize a quote or a particular sentence/paragraph, provide additional facts or statistics, or summarizes content that may be helpful to your reader but is not essential to your document.

The Publications, Graphics, and Web Development Section is happy to assist you with creating a callout if you are not sure how to display the information; note the content that you want to highlight in your document, and we'll take it from there.

Create Figures to Help Your Reader

Find ways to convey the necessary information using a minimum of written text, accompanied by a figure (chart/table/graph/illustration/infographic), which helps with keeping your project concise and increases white space for more readability.

Would you prefer to read this?

Approximately 77.14 acres is designated retail, 116.16 acres industrial, 2.26 acres mixed used, and 14.08 acres office. The retail uses are concentrated along Bladensburg Road, Kenilworth Avenue, and Annapolis Road. Industrial is concentrated west of Kenilworth Avenue, in the Town of Edmonston. The little mixed use or office uses that exist in the sector plan area is centered in the core near the intersections of Bladensburg Road, Kenilworth Avenue and Annapolis Road. (72 words)

Or this?

Land Use in Port Towns
Use	Size (Acres)	Concentrated Areas
Retail	77.14	Bladensburg Road, Kenilworth Avenue, Annapolis Road
Industrial	116.6	West of Kenilworth Avenue in Edmonston
Mixed-Use	2.26	Centered in the core near intersection of Bladensburg Road, Kenilworth Avenue, and Annapolis Road
Office	14.08	Centered in the core near intersection of Bladensburg Road, Kenilworth Avenue, and Annapolis Road

(43 words)

Do you need help with creating images, tables, charts, or infographics for your project? We can also make existing figures more reader-friendly. Just let us know.

Numbers

In general, numbers one through nine should be spelled out. Use figures for numbers 10 and above. However, there are some exceptions:


Exception	Example
Spell out any numbers that begin a sentence. But if that number is a year, use the numerals.	Twenty-three years ago, the legislation went into effect. 1923 was the year that the house was built.
When numbers below 10 are written as decimals, use the figures.	Trees should be planted 3.5 feet apart.
Figures are used for all ages, percents/percentages, units of currency, dimensions	the 53-year-old, 4 percent of the population, $2.00, 5-feet, 3-inches
If using orders of magnitude (hundred, thousand, million, etc.) after a single-digit number that does not represent currency, spell it out. However, if you are referring to currency, spell it out.	four million people, but $4 million.
If the number is part of a formal name, follow the style used.	7-Eleven or 4th Street
When two numbers are written next to each other in a sentence, one of them should be spelled out to avoid confusion. If one number refers to a measurement, it should remain a figure.	We asked for thirty 10-inch boards.

Units of measure less than 1.00 are singular and take the singular verb.
Ordinal numbers are expressed without the superscript, but spell out first through ninth (second, 31st).
If there are many numbers within a paragraph, keep the numbers in each category consistent. Here are two examples:
A mixture of buildings—one of 103 stories, five of more than 50, and a dozen of only 3 or 4―has been suggested for the area. In the second half of the nineteenth century. Chicago's population exploded, from just under 30,000 in 1850 to nearly 1.7 million by 1900.
Use the word "number" instead of "#" or "no." (Note, however, that resolutions from the Planning Board use "No." For example, PGCPB Resolution No. 04-23.)
Always spell out "percent" in text. The % symbol is acceptable in charts and graphs but must be used consistently.

Inclusive and Bias-Free Language

Avoid references to personal characteristics such as race, sex, gender, ethnicity, disability, age, religion, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status unless relevant to the topics discussed.
Do not use gender-specific suffixes. There is almost always a gender-neutral alternative.

Examples:


✗	✓
chairman/woman	chair
actor/actress	actor/performer
fireman	firefighter
policeman	police officer
man/woman	person/adult
waiter/waitress	server
maiden name	family name/surname

As language and culture is constantly evolving, the Chicago Manual of Style does not maintain a list of specific words that are considered unacceptable.

For example, CMoS gives nine methods for achieving gender neutrality for generic references to people:


Method	✗	✓
Omit the personal pronoun where possible.	For instance, in the programmer should update the records when data is transferred to her by the head office, if there is only one programmer, the pronoun phrase to her can be omitted:	the programmer should update the records when data is transferred by the head office. Note that the shorter sentence is tighter as well as gender-free.
Repeat the noun. If a noun and its pronoun are separated by many words, try repeating the noun.	For instance, a writer should be careful not to needlessly antagonize readers, because her credibility would otherwise suffer	becomes a writer should be careful not to needlessly antagonize readers, because the writer’s credibility would otherwise suffer. Take care not to overuse this technique. Repeating a noun too frequently will irritate readers. If you have to repeat a noun more than twice in a sentence or repeat it too soon, you should probably rewrite the sentence.
Use a plural antecedent. By using a plural antecedent, you eliminate the need for a singular pronoun.	For instance, a contestant must conduct himself with dignity at all times becomes	contestants must conduct themselves with dignity at all times. The method may cause a slight change in connotation. In the example, a duty becomes a collective responsibility rather than an individual one.
Use an article instead of a pronoun. Try replacing the singular personal pronoun with a definite or indefinite article. Quite often you’ll find that the effect on the sentence’s meaning is negligible.	For instance, A student accused of cheating must actively waive his right to have his guidance counselor present	A student accused of cheating must actively waive the right to have a guidance counselor present.
Use the neutral singular pronoun one. Try replacing the gender-specific personal pronoun with the gender-neutral singular pronoun one.	an actor in New York is likely to earn more than he is in Paducah	an actor in New York is likely to earn more than one in Paducah.
Use the relative pronoun who. This technique works best when it replaces a personal pronoun that follows if. It also requires revising the sentence slightly.	employers presume that if an applicant can’t write well, he won’t be a good employee	employers presume that an applicant who can’t write well won’t be a good employee.
Use the imperative mood. The imperative eliminates the need for an explicit pronoun. Although its usefulness is limited in some types of writing, you may find that it avoids prolixity and more forcefully addresses the target audience.	a lifeguard must keep a close watch over children while he is monitoring the pool	keep a close watch over children while monitoring the pool.
In moderation, use he or she. Although it is an easy fix, the phrase he or she should be used sparingly, preferably only when no other technique is satisfactory.	For instance, “abstractitis” is Ernest Gowers’s term for writing that is so abstract and obtuse (hence abstruse) that the writer does not even know what he is trying to say	becomes “abstractitis” is Ernest Gowers’s term for writing that is so abstract and obtuse (hence abstruse) that the writer does not even know what he or she is trying to say. If you find you need to repeat the pronouns in the same sentence, don’t. Revise the sentence instead.
	"The test revealed conduction activity that was peculiar in nature."	"The test revealed peculiar conduction activity."
Revise the sentence. If no other technique produces a sentence that reads well, rewrite the sentence so that personal pronouns aren’t needed.	if a boy or girl misbehaves, his or her privileges will be revoked a person who decides not to admit he lied will be considered honest until someone exposes his lie	if someone misbehaves, that person’s privileges will be revoked. a person who denies lying will be considered honest until the lie is exposed.

Source: Chicago Manual of Style.

We must acknowledge, however, that language and culture is constantly evolving, and the communities that are the subject of these conversations are not monolithic:

LGBTQ is an acceptable acronym on first reference for people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer, but the term queer can be a slur in many contexts.

Communities from the Latin American diaspora may have differing opinions on use of the terms "Latino/a," "Hispanic," or "Latinx."

The terms "Black" and "White" are generally capitalized, although "Black" is often used interchangeably with "African-American" although it depends on context (for example, Black History Month in the County showcases the experiences of the African-American ethnic group while County statistics refer to a "Black or African-American" category to reflect residents of African-American descent as well as Black people whose immediate ancestry is from Africa, the Caribbean, or other parts of the African diaspora).

Some people from the disabled community prefer person-first language ("person who is blind" or "person who is autistic") while others prefer identity-first language ("blind person," "autistic person").